When you burst out crying alone in your room and you realize no one truly know how unhappy you are because you don't want anyone to know.

I want a tape recorder. I get to record all my thoughts, emotions and experiences verbally by words. I want to hear them, maybe tape by tape, with a sticker and marked on it is each date that I've recorded and some day, laugh at the mistakes, cry at what could've been and sigh in relief remembering such joyful events. It's like a diary, except that when I write, I might not have time. Like a blog, I get distracted too easily. But I'm afraid I'll die of unexpected death and like a journal, all my tapes will be heard and I will be exposed. I have a lot of secrets. Skeletons in my closets too. Somehow I wish there was a person who'd knew everything I've been through and not question me but feel for me. Understand why I did what I did or laugh along with me if even for myself, I don't know why. As humans, we are judgmental so I hesitate to tell anyone. We are afraid of whom we trust because they might tell other people. They might stop liking us. They might react so absurdly. They might no longer be beside us. What for do I wish to share my deepest, darkest truths, you may ask? I would feel relief of some sort. It's a good thing sometimes, to actually let it all out instead of keeping everything to oneself. I guess we are but warriors, not brave. We all stand with shields without making a move to attack. We are so afraid of what people might think of us that we don't get a chance to do what we'd want most. I am not afraid. Come judge me.