"Change your thoughts and you change your world"

Current track: Sunny by Marvin Gaye (Mercury Edit II)

Today had been very kind to me. I finally caught up with my best friend who has been so occupied with his new job. We can hardly find time to talk to each other on a daily basis. I accompanied him for lunch during his work break and afterwards we hit Joe & Dough for drinks. A lovely lady walked up to me and offered me a free beverage. I was touched by her thoughtful gesture and accepted the drink. I thought I'd go for a caramel latte. This is a big deal to me, considering that I have never, in these 20 years of my life, drank a cup full of coffee and now I have! Caffeine and pot-induced, you can imagine how the rest of my day went.

Initially, my good friend, also a very talented musician, Fahmy, was going to play for Arajua but due to unavoidable circumstances (ie: serving the nation) he is unable to take part. Nevertheless, as a huge fan of local music, I will be there to support them and if you haven't heard of their music before, this weekend is the perfect opportunity for you to discover new music.

One of my favourite bands, The Trees And The Wild is returning this year and the gig falls on a very special date. There are no words to express my enthusiasm. I have been a dedicated listener since 2010, when my dear friend first introduced them to me. Hearing the band live right up front raised my goosebumps. How could I forget how my heart ached when they performed 'Our Roots'? Every gig after that I look forward to that piece being played and don't mind me if you see me tearing at this one. I still have a polaroid of me with then guitarist Iga Massardi. I remember being late for 2012's Baybeats show and hearing their last song 'Saija', dancing at the back of the crowd. 'Empati Tamako' is now my beloved choice. Counting down the days to 19th of June.

Current track: Collapse by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

I'd sunk in oceans blue / Now they're all frozen over / I should have took your hand / We should have crossed the border / ... / Falling short again / I'm falling short again / The ranges set so high / And I could never climb / Falling

Here's a fun fact about Vancouver Sleep Clinic: the guy's only 17. Here's another fun fact about Vancouver Sleep Clinic that involves me: The band favourited my tweet claiming how they are now my newly discovered favourite artist and I almost passed out from hyperventilating. If you enjoy Bon Iver, you will love them. Have a listen.

Current track: It Feels Good To Be Around You by Yumi Zouma feat. Air France

Dear Air France, sometimes I think the way we met happened too fast ... But uh, I, I'll always think about you when I'm drunk

I often look back into the past and find myself searching for answers to life's ongoing troubles. Taking a walk down memory lane can be torturous. Being a sceptic at best, I punish myself for everything I have done wrong and hardly reward myself for my achievements. I enjoy hearing others' opinions that shouldn't matter and stray away from the problems at hand. I haven't given myself time to hear what I have to say for myself because I fear that I use harsh, unkindly words to get by. It's time to take a break from people. It's time to discover myself.

Today was very difficult to go through. My indecisiveness and lack of self-importance didn't help. I seek comfort in friends' advice and words of motivation but the courage only lasts a few hours. I kept begging for lies to feed my delusional self. Why do I do this? Dream big, hardly realistic and ending up falling short. While I feel beaten down for having to handle so much at one go, I also feel appreciative that it happened now before it was too late. As a pessimist would quote, "How much worse can it get?"

I remember a friend of mine who used to tell me that he starts off the day with a negative remark, expects the worst outcome possible and if it doesn't happen, his day has been made. Say, "I bet I will lose my job, get hit by a car and mauled by a stray dog by the end of the day," but only loses his job, then that day is a good day. I can strongly relate to that. I feed on setbacks.

I had a good dinner with an old friend, it's been a while since I had a proper meal. We went for drinks after, had my first sangria. Afterwards I met up with S and R, who were ever so kind to me, as always. It was exhausting trying to fight with my conscience, differentiating wrong from right. My mind and heart's ill at ease. I hope as time goes by, it will get easier.

La flore et la faune

Botanic Gardens, Singapore

Model: Shahreini / Rinniey

Canon EOS 500N, Lucky SHD 100 B&W

La tentatrice

 Model: Farahin

Yashica Electro GSN 35mm

Fujichrome Velvia ISO 50

Yashica Electro GSN 35mm

I have always played safe and used Fujifilm Superia in the past but I decided to give Agfa Vista 400 a try.

Minolta Pocket Autopak 460TX 110 ISO 200

One's man trash is another man's treasure.

I bought this beautiful piece of junk from a thrift store back in December 2012. At first glace, due to its compact and lightweight size, it would have passed off as a portable radio. The kind your grandfather would have back in the good old days. Upon further inspection, it revealed itself to be a film camera. Being the vintage lass that I was, I had to get my hands on it and yes, it was marked at a reasonable price.

There was no assurance that it was still working, by the looks of it. The lens had mold and dust from the inside. I tried playing around with it and found an interchangeable lens from normal to telephoto! It also had a large built-in flash. After much fondling about I was positive that it was still functioning! All I needed was an AA battery and a 110 cartridge. Below are some of the test shot results.

Ameen Dupree

Azfar Amin

Seri Hidayu and Nurinani

Firdaus, Rio and Khairul

Junni

Vanessa

Yashica Electro GSN 35mm

Fujifilm Superia ISO 200