trixxiebon

Things are starting to look up for me but I am not dealing too well with it. I am unsure of whether I am truly prepared of what is next. I do not know if I am compatible with the working world. I am afraid I will succumb to my weakness. Florence's "Leave My Body" perfectly describes my situation: "My history keeps pulling me down." I am still in the process of healing. Nevertheless I will face upcoming challenges with a strong front. I cannot run away for ever. What do I do now? The day has come when this question I have pondered silently in my mind for quite some time, to be asked aloud and yet I still have not known the answer. This darkness that accumulates in me is starting to prove otherwise. Even after seeking solace in the most unexpected of places, even after finally accepting comfort from the one place that reminds me of my darkest moments... I find myself in a spot where happiness does not last long. Who was I to think that this sort of life was suited for me? Maybe I was proven wrong by majority but what if there is no right nor wrong? What have I been believing in then? I am asking again, what now? These thoughts of death, once used to calm me but tonight I feel uneasy. I am questioning my faith and beliefs, which I have been neglecting for quite some time. How peculiar.